19 January 2012

Keyword fail...

Image via weheartit

So, you're a blogger, you sign up for Google Analytics to check your daily page views etc... After a few months, your traffic source list starts increasing, usually filled with various post titles or items you've reviewed, but there's always a time when you get the most random keywords that are linked with your blog. Even when you've never said that word or phrase, it ends up in your analytics list, wondering what kind of blog you really are writing.

I had some beauties, but admittedly I've witnessed other ones from bloggers that are just full on hilarious. Definitely beat the ones I've had! I wanted to keep my personal favourites for this blog, so I thought 'what better way to keep them than on a real blog post?' Give the readers what they asked for (in a sense...) and all that. So here they are...

'nookie slot'
Excuse me but this is not an X-rated blog. Please keep your dirty mind to yourself.

'elizabethan witch fashion'
Unless they shop at Topshop, I can't help you.

'had to say goodbye to my slippers'

'legs ultra dani'
Does this mean my legs are long or my legs are fat? I'd prefer the first option...

'i actually wore my slippers'
So they came back to life?!

'my sexy wife in stockings'
Again, why are you searching for YOUR wife in stockings on Google? Surely you'd be worried if
she was all over the internet in that attire?

'nookie sale'

'what happens when your not a witch but you wear a witches necklace'
You get hanged, but then disappear and have to wait for the Black Flame Candle to be lit by a virgin? No? Then you're fine.

'حقيبة كامبردج'
You too.

Do you have any funny or stupid keyword phrases appear from your blog analytics?



Sarirah said...

What's up with the witchy talk? haha
I was quite chuffed one weekend when I realised that my two cats, scout and jem, were the most searched when finding my blog. Other than that, the weirdest ones were "hair filler" and some random lyrics from a The Used song. I think more bloggers should do posts like these but I know sometimes it can be upsetting if the searches were personal. x

xXxStundonxXx said...

haha I love this post!
I've had a few random ones in my time. Today's random search was Spencer tea. Which produced an image of tea that my partner Spencer once cooked for me in google images! He was chuffed bless! xx

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